I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
