i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
