gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
