Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
