The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Let's get the cat blown out
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
