Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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