you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
