Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
