Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
