My first STD was from a foam party
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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