I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
