a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
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