she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
