He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
