I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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