let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
