I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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