It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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