Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
