so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
