Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
