anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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