We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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