just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
