Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
