My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
