i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
