I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
