no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
