I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
