what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
porn star boner night. come get it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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