i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
