yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
