Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
