...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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