I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
