Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
