So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
