Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
