just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
