she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
