Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Buhtt sex?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
