my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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