Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
