Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
