I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
