4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
