Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
