didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
