There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
