You're earring is so big in my mouth
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
