he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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